ghost month as what the Chinese would refer to it, did actually end. And I will miss it and all that enveloped me during the past three months too.
I have never felt this before, that feeling of regret. Regretful of the friendship, not that we cannot be friends anymore but literally I cannot be with them anymore, sharing breaks,lunch and after work chat together. Surely this friendly connection I have molded and built with my new-found friends apparently them being my colleagues at my former work, now I can call it my “then” career, no pun intended, will be one of a heck experience. Ever since day one of my new “then” career I was full of high hopes of being geared up to making good at this job, having that mindset of staying, building and sucking up anything just to get ahead with that stability and career contentment in a good company. Unexpectedly, I did test the waters when I had known about what the job really expects from me. I was positive.
Above all this positivity, much I have expected was to gain friends, packed like a firecracker that feeling of enjoyment, nothing to lose, just having a blast and good fun. It clicked just like that. I have proven myself of confidence towards socializing better with people I get to meet for just a week or two. Introvert at some point, it will take me quite sometime to really extend myself to people I hesitantly feel would not bridge my viewpoints and quiet persona but I learned again to go with the flow and ride the waves even. Hesitant in ways that I felt like so sheltered in my last job before this “then” career, I was like having one rest day for socialization, and my colleagues wouldn’t have time too since they were still also digging for a straight workload schedule.
Again, I was left only with my close friends, while that I will be forever immune with their company treating ourselves like brothers and sisters, but that difference of growing your network, knowing something more and enriching yourself through gaining more friends to keep would not permit me to do so if I continue having that only one rest day. I have really felt the impact on me and I don’t want to dwell on it already. I was too so stressed then maybe due to the kind of work, all that traveling to and fro from home to office and vice versa and that long work schedule.
Comes this “then” career, with still the presence of pressure on the kind of work merely because it was revolving on sales generation, I was traveling to and fro from one number to another making call outs and also creeping on ones’ desk onto another during office hours then leading to after work jams and gimmicks and working schedule was a breeze, before the sun dropped in the horizon, I was already heading home riding that northbound jeepneys. Ah, this I will miss too. Distance of home and work was so favorable to me, it evidently made my daily expenses at minimum. So I was happy with that.
Going back to what will I miss the most and before I forget that it is because of them why I am making this post and dedicating it to them for keepsake.
Sadly, I do not have a personal copy or a photo-op with them before I left, maybe comes next time around that we get to see each other again, so I’ve just downloaded this copy from my boss’ Facebook account. It was taken during our town-hall meet up in one of the telecom conglomerate’s business office. It was where I got to meet the faces but some of them were not yet there(maybe I will post another entry for them. :)). After all, it was thru this meeting I felt that confidence to relate myself with others and be inspired to make good at my assigned position extending myself to its needs and apply my customer service skills through a phone line. My socialization skills got tested, I felt like having a culture shock as to how am I going to position and present myself to them, I was always quiet and very observant at first so I knew that with that kind of attitude for sure I am sending wrong signals about my cool personality. I turned it around this time, I was the one approaching first and opening that short talks. I opened myself. I gave time and just cruised with them. I think I quite did that.
Though during the early weeks of this “then” career the pressure was really on for me and it was through them that I was able to keep going and learned to suck it all up. A weak link should be dealt with strategically. I kept going, my team leader even shared his sales just so I could keep up and make a head start. With that I am thankful but the impact on me was discomforting and discouraging. I have lots of questions that popped into mind. Am I really serious about this? Or when will this testing of waters lead me? From ankle-deep up to my drowning? Or the best of experiencing new-found friends and thinking about happiness and friendship at work? Now, this I will call my shot. I have experienced it again and really gained real people, diverse and same flocks that speak of vitality, pure fun, angst on family, love and career life, travels and adventures pummeled with high hopes and dreams. I was so elated hearing these from all sorts, the crowd was really different. I have nothing against with my previous colleagues but they were not equaled in terms of life’s hopes and dream. Really different. And surrounding yourself with these kind of crowd frantically enriches and fuels you to take whatever the world serves you.
Laughter, teasing and jerking around on one colleague’s desk was how I pull off the pressure and toxicity. Inter office emails, texts, and calls were the tools used for jokes and never-serious gossips generation. It was quite a rumble of curbed laughs so much so that our supervisor would not ring a bell and call our attention to get back to work.
After work fun was put to a schedule, mostly were observed during paydays and this was the only time again I will go out with a bunch of buddies to just be happy, take a stride at the mall, munch on snacks, or drink beer to shake off the dust of work from our shoulders and let the fun night pass away till wee hours. I told them that even though I would not be with them during office hours, I will still confirm if they would tag me along for a great fun night again whenever they plan to. I am just a text or call anyway. They even suggested that I can call the contact center’s hotline if I miss them and will even provide me the list of their locals if I miss one among them specifically. Haha!
Borrowing lines from a song I categorically find annoying but its message will forever remind me of them, here is how it goes,
“hey I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here’s my number,
so call me, maybe?”
With this kind of crowd I was able to mingle and grow even in a couple of months, this all I have come to realize about life and dreams at this point, quoting lines from one of my favorite bands in the world, play it DJ,
“just shoot for the stars,
if it feels right, then aim for my heart,
if you feel like,
and take me away, and make it okay,
I swear I’ll behave”
Till we meet folks! 🙂