ANXIOUS


I deactivated my Facebook account for a good two months last year or so I think. Unsure of how many months but I really did. This was when the onset of a stricter lockdown in the metro was happening. The consumption of news via television and my mobile phone have dawned in me three months into the community quarantine. With me just staying at home and not being able to go outside took a toll on my mental health. Honestly, until today, I get anxious and experience some nervous feeling whenever I would go out and take on with my alternate work duty.

Sometimes, I would feel palpitations and it is like I can hear my heart beat. To self comfort, I calmly find my core and focus in my breathing. Breathing in deeply. Exhaling slowly. Taking silent counts to at least five before breathing in next.

I often daydream at the moment of having the freedom to breathe outside without my mask on. But I know exactly where I can do it. Back in my home province.

I miss you home.


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